Tori's new therapist

We have started taking Tori to a therapist for her possible anxiety attacks, and her constant depression problems. I've never been to a therapist so I didn't know what to expect. However I feel pretty good about my "Parenting skills". I'm not perfect, but as I've tried to help Tori along, I've felt like the stupidest person alive. Recently I've come to the conclusion that she doesn't really want to listen to me. So that's where the therapist started. As we talked she said just about everything I've told her. It's been a good thing to know that I'm not a complete imbecile.

We've talked about coping skills, and happy thoughts. Today we talked about physical cues. We drew some pictures of our physical cues and the things that they might mean. Tori drew pictures of her gritting her teeth and clenching her fists. She also put down eating. I advised her she also stomps her feet.

Me being the Mom, and having more time to understand my physical cues had a messier drawing. She thought it looked pretty funny.

Hopefully I can help her along her path better. I think she has decided that I might know what I'm talking about, sometimes.

Respect

Brett and I recently went to a Parenting Class. Our family has all hit a hard time all at once. Duncan is 12......Tori is 10......Samantha is almost 8......and Jason is Jason.

Alright, that might not break it down exactly, but we decided we needed a little bit of help in working with our kids so we signed up.

The big thing she talked about was building FAMILY VALUES. Such as Respect. That was the first thing that we decided we needed to work on. We have to go slowly though, so the first thing we are going to work on is respect of property. I think this is the easiest thing for the kids to understand, Chores. So we are going to start here.

The difference is, we are going to change a lot of wording and meanings. If we don't get our chores done, instead of punishment we are going to get a lot of practice doing the things we struggle with. Practice sounds a lot better than punishment. Also the difference is that to start out Brett and I are going to help the kids learn what is acceptable and what is not. So the first step is having Brett and I help the kids so they learn that we are willing to help them as well. We'll see how it goes. The kids seemed really accepting of it.

We are also going to start working on respecting each other next. Hopefully this will help get a little more harmony in our home.

Hot Chocolate

I'm giving something a try. Tori and Samantha have been so weepy and ornery lately that I've not known what to do with them.

I talked to their VI teacher and she suggested "Tea Time". So I had the girls pick out some mugs on Saturday and I started it last night.

I made hot chocolate, and put out a cookie and Tori and I just sat and enjoyed each other. I didn't tell her my motives. I just sat and let her talk herself out. Maybe........